Airdate: December 17, 2025
Julie Rose: How far would you go to brighten the
Christmas of a stranger?
Amy Dott Harmer: You know, sometimes the world looks
really dark really difficult. It was just turning on a little light. You don't
have to do something big, you just have to pay attention to what's around you.
Julie Rose: Hey, it's Julie. Welcome to Uncomfy, a show
about sticking with moments that challenge us even when they're uncomfortable.
The story I have for you today is really lovely. It's that magical mix of Uncomfy
and uplifting. Plus, it's an example of people caring for others at Christmas
time, which is what the annual Light the World campaign from The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is all about. So, let's get Uncomfy and Light
the World. Our story starts today with Amy Dott Harmer, executive director of
the Utah Refugee Connection. Amy Dott, welcome back to Uncomfy.
Amy Dott Harmer: Oh, Julie, it's always nice to be with
you.
Julie Rose: So, you do a holiday event for refugee
families every year. Tell us about the one where you found the letter to Santa.
Amy Dott Harmer: Okay, so every year we have what we call the Gathering of Light Celebration, and it's a beautiful opportunity for refugees from around the world to experience what the holidays are like for Americans, and so we typically have anywhere from 200 to 300 families that come, and it's like a little bit like an, an indoor winter carnival, and the idea is to give them activities that they can, um, do together as a family. Each of the kids receive a book or a gift, and they make something to be able to take home as a gift. Um, the parents, when they leave, receive a gift as they're leaving, and we do face painting. It's just a wonderful way to welcome refugees to our community and make them feel safe, seen and supported. And we have a Santa at this event, and I had borrowed a big comfy chair, um, for Santa to sit on, and Santa, you know, talked with the kids, and someone gave him a letter, a very personal letter about the needs of their family, and I think Santa, when he was talking to her, just kind of tucked it down in the cushion 'cause he had more kids to, you know, talk through this event with, and you know, two days before Christmas we were returning this big comfy chair to my parents' house, and this letter fell out, and it just stopped me in my tracks, literally, like, the, the wording in it, the simple handwriting, and it's two days before Christmas. I'm frazzled, and I feel really uncomfortable about having a letter with very personal requests that are really basic things and not doing anything about it but also knowing that I didn't have the capacity to fulfill that request. I had kind of given everything, and so I remember, like, thinking, "Oh, well maybe one of my family members will pick it up and do something with it," but they were all kind of in the same situation, and the letter just haunted me.
Julie Rose: Amy Dott, let's, uh, you sent me a photo of this letter, um, so, uh, I'm gonna read part of it, if that's okay. So, it's a little girl, she says her name, she says, "Dear Santa," her name, her address. "I really enjoy Christmas this year. I only have two sisters. One is three, the other is 10. I have mom and dad, but my dad is the only one that works. Santa, we will all like clothes, pens, shoes, socks, and jacket. We will also like if you gave each a gift card. My sister needs diapers and wipes. Me and my little sister will each like a bicycle. We will all like toilet paper and napkins. The size for the diapers is four or five," she adds. "Thank you, and Merry Christmas." So, yeah, just this, I mean, I assume she's what, eight and, um, the family, you know, she wants a bicycle, but also toilet paper? Like, that's, and napkins, yeah, so the necessities, like, the clear need of this family, the lateness of the hour at this point,
Amy Dott Harmer: I think it was like the 22nd or 23rd of
December and I'm like, "Oh gosh,"
Julie Rose: And then you're thinking, "We put her
on Santa's lap at our event, and now Santa is not going to deliver, and how can
I let that happen?"
Amy Dott Harmer: Yeah.
Julie Rose: So, what'd you do?
Amy Dott Harmer: I decided to share it on social media with not all the details, but, like, the picture of the big comfy chair and what we had found and, and kind of the contents of the letter, and I just had to, I just had to like put it out there and let it go. I just knew that I didn't have the capacity to do it; I wish I did, and frequently when something like that happens, I just pray. I say, "Okay, God, I can't be the one to do this or fix this or help this person, but I'm gonna pray that You know, and You can inspire them." So, I got this message from a person that I knew but didn't know well named Lanice.
Julie Rose: Well, we have Lenice with us, actually, so
let's bring her into the conversation. Lenice Paulsen, hi. Welcome.
Lenice Paulsen: Thank you.
Julie Rose: All right, so tell us your side of the story
here. You're, I don't know, scrolling social media and see this message pop up
from Amy Dott? What goes through your mind?
Lenice Paulsen: So, actually, I didn't see the message.
I saw her earlier message, like, early in the month, and I was like, "Oh,
we, we've gotta do, we gotta help with this party. We gotta this, we gotta
that."
Julie Rose: Oh, it was a call to action for something
else, uh, to help with the big, the winter festival, okay, uh-huh.
Lenice Paulsen: I did not respond. I thought, "Oh, I'll get back, I know her number, I have, you know, her information," and as Christmas was approaching, it gnawed on me all month. I was like, "Ugh, we gotta help. We gotta help, we gotta reach out," and it was, like, I think the 22nd, and I just said to my husband, I said, "I'm sure they don't need help anymore. It's passed, like, the party, but this and that," and he just encouraged me to say, he's like, "They always need last minute help," and so I did, I just sent a text to her and just said, "I'm so late to the game," and I probably apologized profusely, but I was like, "Do you have any last minute needs? I know it's like three days before Christmas, but," and then she proceeded to tell me that she had found that note in the couch, I believe even it was like the night before, and so she kind of read me the note, and I was like, "Oh my goodness, yes, we're, we're up for this." My kids at the time were young adult, teenage age, and so, you know, very helpful so we somehow connected, right and got the note.
Julie Rose: And how, and how did you solve the problem
of, you know, like, not really knowing the full needs of this family, or, I
don't know, it's a little awkward and maybe presumptuous to just like,
"Hey, we got this letter from Santa somehow, and here we are on your
doorstep, and you don't know us," right? Like, I just wonder, like, how
did you go about that? What was your creative solution?
Lenice Paulsen: It was awkward, I, I gotta be honest, it was because I was like, "Uh, yeah, you don't want to show up to these random people's house and these random people at night," but so I, talking to my husband and, and we just decided, "We have to just go and see what the needs are," so we show up. Honestly, I don't remember exactly what we said, I just remember being like, "Hi, we heard about this awesome party you guys had, and Santa found the note after the party, and we just are here to, to see what, what you guys need," and the little girl, she came and we were able to talk to the parents and figure out exact needs and sizes and stuff, and it was sweet because the 8-year-old girl, she's like, "Oh, and my friend, they also need Christmas, and they live two doors down," and my husband and I are like, "Great," like, and so she takes us down to their house, and again, we have to kind of stumble of who we are, why we're there showing up unannounced and got their needs, and I have pictures of my kids shopping and wrapping these presents, and it was really magical. It was really magical. Like,I was so grateful that my kids were, they just jumped into action. We, like, made a list, we divided and conquered 'cause we really didn't have that much time, and then we were able, we all put sweaters and Christmas hats, Santa hats and Christmas, you know, attire on, and, and we wrapped everything and just put 'em in, in bags and delivered to the families, and so it was a challenge to figure out how exactly to approach this.
Julie Rose: I think that that is, um, also what
dissuades us sometimes from helping. I mean, I can think of so many times where
I, you know, I'm like, "Well, I don't really know how to help, and, I
mean, do they really need my help, and am I gonna offend them, or is it, you
know, maybe somebody else has already done it by this point? Like, maybe they
don't have that need anymore." I mean, so many reasons that I could think
to kind of just be like, "Eh, well, let that one go, you know? Maybe
another time."
Lenice Paulsen: And I've done that plenty. You know, I've done that plenty, but it, it did gnaw on me, it gnawed all month. I was like, "I gotta reach out. I gotta reach out," and then, and then just that extra nudge of, "It doesn't hurt. If she doesn't need help, she doesn't need help," and the timing was perfect for us, and as Amy said, she was slammed with her own family, and we had kind of wrapped it up 'cause we, we didn't have this big, huge event that we planned, and it just, it worked out great, and it's just a good reminder of how God is aware, He's aware, and it was, in a selfish way, really awesome to see the fruits, like, instantly.
Lenice Paulsen: So, one last comment, maybe, Julie?
Julie Rose: Sure.
Amy Dott Harmer: You know, this celebration is called
Gathering of Light, and we, we kind of look at it symbolically of everyone
bringing a little bit of what's beautiful about their life and then sharing
that together, and, um, frequently when the winter season I've done some
outdoor hikes, and there's a hike that I do that's right along, like, it's just
along the foothills, and it's kind of cool to see all the lights come on as
people wake up in the morning,and it's still dark, you know, but they're getting
up and getting ready and it's kind of been a little analogy or symbolism for me
to think about, you know, sometimes the world looks really dark really
difficult, but I think about that hike and I think about the Lenices that turn
on a little light, and they're all kind of waking up at different times, and
then, little by little, this light floods the world. And so when I think about
the Gathering of the Light, you know, celebration that we have, and then the Light
the World, this is what it's all about. You know, Lenice didn't have to do
anything huge, spotlight, it was just turning on a little light and allowing
her family to participate in meeting the needs of a family that felt like life
was a little dark. So, I hope people remember that you don't have to do
something big, you just have to pay attention to what's around you.
Julie Rose: Amy Dott, Lenice, thank you so much for
sharing this uplifting, inspiring story today. I really appreciate it.
Lenice Paulsen: Thank you.
Amy Dott Harmer: Loved being with you.
Lenice Paulsen: Yes.
Julie Rose: I'm really grateful to Lenice Paulsen and Amy Dott Harmer, who is executive director of the Utah Refugee Connection, and I'm grateful to you for getting a little Uncomfy with us today. I'd love to hear if you have had a rewarding experience of service this holiday season, or maybe an Uncomfy experience that has prompted you to try to do something for someone else. Reach out to me at uncomfy@byu.edu. Let me know how it goes, and check out lighttheworld.org for more ideas on how you can make a difference in your community this season. Uncomfy is a BYUradio podcast. Samuel Benson produces it, and the team includes Hyobin Kim and Sam Payne. Our theme music was composed by Kelsey Nay. I'm Julie Rose. Merry Christmas. I can't wait to get Uncomfy with you again next week.
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