Airdate: May 7, 2025
Julie Rose: Sometimes, facing an uncomfortable truth can
save a life.
Dawn Peabody: And I said, "We can't just sit here
in this silence. We just can't sit here in this pain. If we don't share our
story, and it happens again in our state, I'm gonna feel like it's my
fault."
Julie Rose: Hey there, it's Julie. Welcome to Uncomfy, a
show about sticking with moments that challenge us even when they're
uncomfortable. And I know you're probably wondering, "Why would anybody
choose to be uncomfortable?" But I know from personal experience, and you
probably do too, that sometimes a little discomfort has benefits if we can stay
open and curious about it. And that is what we're here to explore, so let's get
Uncomfy.
This warmer weather that we're having also brings the risk of a
tragedy that we all think could not possibly happen to us. And yet, dozens of
kids in the United States every year die after being accidentally left in a hot
car. The nonprofit Kids and Car Safety has lobbied for years to get rear seat
alerts in cars to help drivers remember when a baby is strapped in the back,
and I'm joined by one of the group's volunteer parent advocates. Her name is Dawn
Peabody. Dawn, welcome.
Dawn Peabody: Thank you for inviting me.
Julie Rose: I read that major car makers in America have
agreed to make these rear seat alerts standard in all new cars by the end of
this year, 2025.Of course, most of us are not driving new cars. Um, why is this
an issue that's so important to you?
Dawn Peabody: You know, backseat reminders are so
important because of the way we live. I mean, we are such a busy, busy society
and our brain is only designed to hold so many things at once. Our brain can't
decipher between what's important and what's not, and things unfortunately get
forgotten. You know, I also say this reminder is important because my car
reminds me of everything else. If I forget my seatbelt, the wrong weight for my
airbag is in there. If I forget to unplug the gas tank or the gas for my car,
my car reminds me. If I leave my most precious cargo in the vehicle, my car
does nothing but act as an oven.
Julie Rose: Mm, yeah. Um, you've lived this tragedy.
Would you tell us about your daughter, Maya?
Dawn Peabody: Maya was, uh, two and a half years old,
um, the day she passed away. Uh, she was our only daughter. Um, she was the
light of our life. She is silly and long and lanky and just so much fun.
Julie Rose: Hmm. Um, was she the oldest child, the
youngest child? Where did she fall?
Dawn Peabody: She was the youngest at that time, yes.
Julie Rose: So, Maya's the baby. She's two and a half
years old. What happened?
Dawn Peabody: So, we had a complete change of routine,
um, that day, which is a lot of times how this type of accident happens. Uh, we
had family in town, so we went in three separate vehicles out to breakfast.
Normally, I would take Maya to work with me, but because we had family in town,
my husband put her in his family vehicle. It's, it's not the vehicle the mo,
usually the children ride in, usually only the big kids ride in it when they go
to school. Usually, Maya is in the vehicle with me.
Um, so, on that day, I went to work in my vehicle. My husband
had Maya in his vehicle, and he stopped to get gas and then went home and did
what he would normally do, jump outta the car and go play with the big kids.
About an hour later, someone asked, "Where's Maya?" And he said,
"Oh, she's at work with mom," and then he thought, "Oh no, she's
sleeping with grandma. Go check on grandma." And then he realized he had
left her in the family vehicle.
Julie Rose: She'd passed away by the time he got back.
Dawn Peabody: She did pass away that day, yes.
Julie Rose: I mean, like I said, it's just the kind of
horrifying experience that, uh, I'm so sorry for the loss of your, your baby
girl.
Dawn Peabody: Thank you.
Julie Rose: It's also the kind of thing that, as you've
tell, as you tell this story over and over again, it's now it's been 10, 15
years since Maya died, um, do you encounter a lot of people who say like,
"Yeah, well you guys must have really messed it up 'cause, like, I would
never do that. That was definitely, that's an, like, an outlier thing couldn't
happen to me?"
Dawn Peabody: You know, the parents that say, "It
couldn't happen to me," are the ones that scare me the most. Um, it's the
parents that have a system in place, a failsafe in place that are, it's least
likely to happen to. So, it's the parents that are go, go, go, go, go. You
know, I always say it's like a grocery list. Have you ever, you know, on the
way home, "Oh, I gotta get milk, I gotta get milk, I gotta get milk, I
gotta get milk," and then the next morning you go to pour your cereal, and
you have no milk? Um, your brain, things fall off in your brain. And it, like I
said before, it can't decipher what's important and what's not.
Julie Rose: I've literally left my groceries in the car.
Like, I put 'em in the trunk. You know, I go grocery shopping, like I just did
that. But between the grocery store and my house, I get distracted with other
stuff. I'm thinking about what I need to be doing when I get home. I hop out of
the car, I go inside, like an hour later I'm like, "Oh yeah. Like,
where's, where's that, where, where's that stuff I was gonna cook for
dinner?" So, you know, on some tiny, tiny level I can relate to how easy
it would be to forget, and yet, um, I think a lot of people think, "Well,
but the baby makes noise, right?" Like,
Dawn Peabody: not when they're sleeping.
Julie Rose: So, a lot of this is when the child's asleep
in the backseat, that's when.
Dawn Peabody: The child's asleep or you just, you don't,
I mean, children get quiet.
Julie Rose: Hmm.
Dawn Peabody: You know, when he, when he left that
restaurant, his entire, his intention was to take her outta the vehicle when he
got home. It was never his intention to leave her there.
Julie Rose: Right. Um, how have you healed from that?
You, and how did your marriage stick, stick together?
Dawn Peabody: You know, our faith was the major thing
that held us together. You know, we as Christians believe that we get to see
her again. Um, as far as our marriage? Forgiveness. I mean, it was that day I
had to make the decision that I'm gonna forgive my husband for something that
was an accident or I was gonna destroy my family, uh, through my anger and my
hate.
So, forgiveness was given right away. I mean, not that we
haven't had our struggles, not that we haven't had a whole lot of therapy. Um,
you know, two years after the accident happened, I approached my husband and
said, "I wanna go public with this." Before I was very, very
protective, uh, of him. I was, I would just say she died in a car accident. Um,
you know, we had been foster parents. I had taught parenting for a living, and
I said, "We can't just sit here in this silence. We just can't sit here in
this pain. If we don't share our story and it happens again in our state, I'm
gonna feel like it's my fault." Um, so at that point, we decided to start
sharing our story, what happened, and how easily it can happen in order to
hopefully save another life.
Julie Rose: Can you remember the first time you told it
publicly? I mean, was it at a press conference or in a media interview?
Dawn Peabody: It was at a press conference and it was
excruciating. It was absolutely excruciating. You wanna talk about your baby,
and you, you love your baby, and you wanna smile, but at the same time, you're
doing everything you can to hold back tears. And, and you know, part of it is
also knowing, "If I spend this 15 minutes, and I share my pain for this 15
minutes, I might save somebody going through a lifetime of pain."
Julie Rose: Do you feel like it's made a difference?
Dawn Peabody: Absolutely. I've had lots of parents come
up to me and say, "You know, if it wasn't for the grace of God, it
would've been me. It was, you know, ten minutes or five minutes I left my
child." Um, I've had parents say, "You know, you speaking out has put
a routine in our family that we just open the door and look before we
lock." You know, we'll never know how many people because of the routines
we've helped set in place or because of the lobbying we've done to get these
alarms in place, how many lives we'll have saved.
Julie Rose: So, you were involved in the effort to get
car makers to agree to make this standard that you would have this backseat
alarm. Um, how, how, how's it supposed to work? Like, what, how would that?
Dawn Peabody: So, the, the system in place is supposed
to give an alert that, you know, just a reminder to check your backseat, just
like it gives you an alert, "Oh, put on your seatbelt." Um, I'd like
to see in more vehicles, uh, a system that senses the presence of life. That's
not the one that was passed, but this is a system that, um, can tell if an
elder person, a dog, or even a child is left in a vehicle and will send out an
alert.
Julie Rose: How did it feel when you learned that this
was gonna happen, that at least in new cars it was gonna be standard?
Dawn Peabody: I was, I was excited. I was very excited.
You know, we had gone to Washington DC with Kids and Car Safety and some other
parents that have decided to, you know, put their pain out there and talk to
legislators, and it was nice to know that our voice was heard, and we
accomplished something.
Julie Rose: So, what are some of the things that you
encourage people to do to, to prevent this if, if they don't have the built-in
alert in their car?
Dawn Peabody: Okay, so, um, I always care parents, tell
parents to, "Look before you lock." Every parent, every time, open
that back door. I mean, I've heard many a story where a parent put a child in
the car, or a child decided they were going bye-bye with mommy and daddy
without the parent that was driving know the child was in there. You know, kids
have been known to play hide and seek or wanna drive like mommy and daddy and
get themselves entrapped in the car. The other suggestion, in Arizona, you're
not gonna get very far without your left shoe, so put your left shoe in the
backseat of your vehicle, um, when the child is in the backseat, or put a
stuffy reminder, put a stuffy in, or stuffed animal, in the car seat when the
child's not in there, but upfront in your lap when the child is in the
backseat. It's just that extra visual reminder that you have precious cargo.
Julie Rose: Dawn Peabody is a parent advocate with Kids and Car Safety. She lives in Arizona. Thank you so much for sharing your story
and for your advocacy. I appreciate it.
Dawn Peabody: Thank you.
Julie Rose: And thank you for getting Uncomfy with us
today. I know it's a heavy one, hard to even think about. I'm grateful to Dawn
for being willing to go to that really uncomfortable place with us so that we
can try to avoid ending up in her situation. I'd love to hear about an Uncomfy
thing that you are embracing in your own life, something that you're taking
a hard look at about yourself or about the state of the world today. Whatever
it is, what are you learning by getting a little uncomfortable? Email us at uncomfy@byu.edu
or find us on social media to connect.
And in the meantime, if you love diving into thought-provoking
discussions, check out my other podcast, Top of Mind with Julie Rose. Every
episode tackles tough topics in a way that will push you to grow and think
deeper, but also feel more empathy and optimism. You can find Top of Mind with Julie Rose on your favorite podcast app.
Uncomfy is a BYUradio podcast. Samuel Benson produces
it, and the team includes Jake Hasleton and Sam Payne. Our theme music was
composed by Kelsey Nay. I'm Julie Rose. Can't wait to get Uncomfy with you
again next week.
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